Year 10 can make GCSEs feel suddenly real. Your job is not to remove every worry or become your child’s revision manager. It is to help them feel safe enough to explain what is wrong, identify a manageable next step and involve the school when necessary.
First, distinguish ordinary nerves from a growing problem
Some worry before tests or difficult lessons is normal. Pay closer attention when anxiety is becoming stronger, is not easing or is interfering with everyday life. Possible signs include difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep or eating, irritability, repeated negative thoughts and avoiding school or activities they previously enjoyed. The NHS guidance on anxiety in children explains these signs in more detail.
Do not try to diagnose your child from a checklist. Instead, look for a pattern, change and impact:
- Pattern: Is the anxiety linked to one subject, teacher, test, friendship or school day?
- Change: What is different from your child’s usual behaviour?
- Impact: Is it affecting sleep, eating, attendance, relationships or ordinary family life?
Have one calm conversation, not a daily interrogation
Choose a neutral moment rather than starting the conversation when homework is already going badly. You could say:
“I’ve noticed that school seems to be weighing on you. I’m not here to lecture you or demand a revision plan. I’d like to understand which part feels hardest.”
Then ask one or two specific questions:
- “Is it the amount of work, not understanding it, fear of tests or something else?”
- “Is there one subject that makes the whole week feel worse?”
- “Would you like me to listen, help you think, or contact someone at school?”
- “What would make tomorrow slightly easier?”
Reflect back what you hear before offering solutions: “It sounds as though you understand the lessons, but panic when work is timed.” This shows that you are taking the problem seriously without treating the feared outcome as inevitable.
Try a one-week pressure reset
Agree a short experiment rather than announcing a permanent new regime:
- Limit schoolwork check-ins. Agree one time when your child can update you, instead of asking repeatedly whether homework is finished.
- Choose one manageable next action. This might be clarifying a task, completing one section or asking a teacher a question. Avoid responding to anxiety by immediately adding hours of work.
- Protect the basics. Regular food, sleep, movement, breaks and enjoyable time are part of coping, not rewards that must be earned. Both the NHS exam-stress advice and YoungMinds’ parent guide recommend a calm home environment, open communication and avoiding extra criticism or pressure.
- Praise useful behaviour rather than predicted grades. Notice starting, asking for help, returning after a setback or explaining a worry clearly.
- Review what changed. Look for easier mornings, improved sleep, fewer arguments, better concentration or greater willingness to attend lessons—not just more completed work.
Contact school early and specifically
You do not need to wait for anxiety to become a crisis. Start with the form tutor, head of year or pastoral lead. Describe observable changes rather than simply saying your child is “stressed”.
You could send:
Subject: Year 10 wellbeing and learning check-in
My child has become increasingly anxious about GCSE work. At home we have noticed [two brief examples]. They say that [subject, situation or concern] is the main pressure point. Could you let us know whether staff have noticed anything similar and help us agree one or two manageable next steps? Please could we also identify a named member of staff they can approach and arrange a date to review how things are going?
Useful questions for the school include:
- Is the difficulty visible in lessons, assessments or homework?
- Is there a misunderstanding about expected workload or upcoming assessments?
- Can one member of staff provide a brief regular check-in?
- Is pastoral support, counselling or school nursing available?
- Does the school work with a Mental Health Support Team?
Mental Health Support Teams can provide early interventions, advise school staff and connect pupils with specialist services. The programme is continuing to expand across England, but access varies, so ask the school rather than assuming that it has a team; the latest national release was published by the Department for Education on 10 June 2026.
Do not guess when mocks or internal assessments will happen. Ask the school for its actual assessment calendar and work only from dates it provides.
Know when to seek professional help
Speak to the school and consider contacting your GP or school nurse if the anxiety is persistent, worsening or affecting your child’s school life, sleep, eating, friendships or normal activities. This is consistent with current NHS advice for parents of anxious children.
If urgent mental-health help is needed but nobody is in immediate danger, use NHS 111 online or call 111 and select the mental-health option. If someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep them safe, call 999 or go to A&E. These routes are set out in the NHS urgent mental-health guidance.
Replace pressure phrases with supportive ones
| Avoid | Try instead |
|---|---|
| “Everyone is stressed; you just have to cope.” | “I can see this is affecting you. Let’s work out which part needs support.” |
| “You need to work harder.” | “What is stopping you from getting started?” |
| “These results will determine your future.” | “We will deal with each stage as it comes.” |
| “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” | “Thank you for telling me now.” |
| “I’ll sort everything out.” | “Which part would you like help with?” |
The aim is not a perfectly calm child. It is a child who can name the problem, accept support and take the next manageable step without feeling that home has become another source of GCSE pressure.
Frequently asked questions
Should I stop my child doing all schoolwork when they feel anxious?
Not automatically. Removing every difficult task can reinforce avoidance, while demanding more work can increase pressure. Help them choose one manageable action and ask the school whether the workload or task needs clarifying.
Should I contact the school if my child asks me not to?
Where possible, agree what you will share and let your child help draft the message. Explain that the purpose is to arrange support, not to complain. If you are worried about their safety or serious deterioration, contact the school or a health professional even if they would prefer you not to.
How do I know whether this is more than ordinary exam nerves?
Look at persistence and impact. Anxiety needs closer attention when it is worsening or disrupting sleep, eating, attendance, relationships or activities your child normally manages.
What if the school has not announced mock dates?
Do not guess or rely on another school’s calendar. Ask your child’s school for its internal assessment dates and plan only around confirmed information.
Who should I contact at school first?
Usually begin with the form tutor, head of year or pastoral lead. Give two or three specific examples of what has changed and ask for a named contact, manageable next steps and a review point.